Even though Tabloid is chosen in the driver, it still shows legal size and prints a tabloid size image legal size on a tabloid sized sheet.
It seems I cant get the two areas of the driver to agree on the size.
The driver cannot change the Photoshop output, Photoshop controls the size of the image and printers just do what it says. In Photoshop you need to select Image>Image Size and make your size adjustments there. So if it is Letter Portrait 300 DPI, no matter what you choose in a print driver it will print Letter Portrait 300DPI for instance. If that means the image goes beyond the borders of the page then so be it. You get the exact same thing when you "Print to pdf"
When you select File>Print you are still in Photoshop, not a driver area, that is why no matter what printer you have in that window, no options get changed, you are not in a driver until you select "Printer" or "Print Settings" (Depends on OS or PS version)